


the one where cybergoth keanu helps jeremy out

by orphan_account



Category: Be More Chill - Iconis/Tracz
Genre: Fluff, M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-12-30
Updated: 2018-12-30
Packaged: 2019-09-30 09:38:07
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,267
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17221478
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: „I’ve been analyzing the data on your relationship with Brooke. You’re making remarkable progress.”„Which means… I can move on to Christine now?”- Jeremy asked cautiously, glancing at the projection with a renewed sense of hope.„Which means there’s now an approximately seventy-three point eight percent chance of her wanting to take things to the next level with you within the next five days.” – the Squip corrected him flatly.---germyiah has Girl Troubles but his wintergreen friend is there to help!!!! they just kiss, though, because this is a good christian neighborhood and i'm too tired to finish it right now





	the one where cybergoth keanu helps jeremy out

_„Jeremy.”_

The teen (already exhausted from the day’s festivities – Jake’s birthday party was just about the most mentally taxing thing he could imagine) really wasn’t in the mood for this. He furrowed his brows as he shut his bedroom door with a thud and made his way to his MacBook, hoping the silent treatment would be enough to convince his Squip to leave him alone.

What he got instead was a brief sting of electricity.

 _„I know you can hear me, Jeremy”_ , the metallic voice in the back of his head said _. „I thought you had this „listen and obey” thing down by now.”_

„God, _fine”_ – Jeremy spat out as the dark-haired man manifested in his field of vision with a notably punchable-looking smirk on his face – „what is it this time? Do you want me to _shine_ Jake’s _shoes_? Should I bring his mom _flowers_ while I’m at it?”

„Interesting idea” – the Squip mused – „but my calculations suggest a high improbability of that getting us closer to our goal.”

Jeremy rolled his eyes.

„I’ve been analyzing the data on your relationship with Brooke. You’re making remarkable progress.”

„Which means… I can move on to Christine now?”- Jeremy asked cautiously, glancing at the projection with a renewed sense of hope.

„Which means there’s now an approximately seventy-three point eight percent chance of her wanting to take things to the next level with you within the next five days.” – the Squip corrected him flatly.

Jeremy swallowed. „You can’t… I-I mean there’s no way you… do you mean she—„

„I _do_ mean she is likely to initiate sexual intercourse with you within that timeframe” – the man interjected – „and judging by your stammering at the mere _mention_ of it, I’m going to make an educated guess and say you aren’t exactly the king of that field.”

„W-well, I just never really had the, uh, the, um, chance t-to—„

„This _does_ put you in a tricky situation – the Squip continued, unfazed, as he paced back and forth – performing poorly would no doubt lower your reputation, but refusing Brooke’s proposition could cement your status as a lonely virgin… Breaking up with Brooke before the whole ordeal could work, but it could potentially reverse the progress we’ve made so far.”

„I could… um, watch some videos? F-for _educational_ purposes, of course?” –Jeremy tried.

The older man shot him a dark look from the corner of his eye. „Jeremy, if watching porn could improve your sexual performance, I _assure_ you’d have _nothing_ to worry about. What you need is some… hands-on experience. Preferably with someone outside of your school circle. Someone who couldn’t spread rumors about their disappointment.”

„A… a _hooker?!_ ” - Jeremy asked , mortified.

„ _God_ , you’re an idiot.” – the Squip muttered. – „ _No_ , Jeremy, of the infinite number of possible outcomes seeing a prostitute would yield, barely _twenty_ percent are favorable. Frankly, the fact that you’d come up with such an idea in the first place is just depressing. „

His pacing came to an end as he faced his host. „I had… something else in mind.”

And it was at that moment Jeremy noticed the intensity with which the projection was staring at him.

Oh.

„What—okay, just to be clear, are you suggesting what I think you’re suggesting? ’C- uh, because no offense, but that seems kind of… fucked.”

„I was made to assist you in _every_ way, Jeremy. Fundamentally, this would be no different than teaching you the proper ways to walk or speak.”

**_Oh._ **

„But—„

„I’m offering you an opportunity that could speed up your ascent in high school society by as much as twenty-three percent. And, might i remind you, the most notable alternatives are _dying alone_ or _public ridicule_. Is that _really_ such a hard choice?”

For the longest time Jeremy was silent and still, thoughts darting about in his head.

„Nobody would know?”

„Just the two of us.”

Another long silence ensued.

„And this really isn’t, like, a big deal to you?’

„That is correct.”

He took a deep breath as he set his MacBook aside to stand up on shaky legs.

„Let’s do it.”

The Squip’s digital lips curled upwards as he stepped closer to the boy, but the smile didn’t last long.

„What are you doing?” – he asked his host with an accusatory glare.

Jeremy stopped fighting his belt to mutter a flustered „err, um”.

„You can’t just whip your dick out and be done with it, Jeremy. Foreplay is an essential part of human intercourse.”

„Well, but you’re… not really _human_ , and we’re really just practicing, so I thought…”

„Skipping such an important detail because of its perceived evidence to you is an unforgivable oversight, Jeremy.” – the man crooned, stepping closer. Jeremy fidgeted with his thumb nervously.

„The human touch is a very powerful tool for establishing intimacy”-- the Squip said calmly, blindingly blue eyes still fixed on the boy – „and a good place for us to start. Touch me, Jeremy.”

He hesitated. „Wh-uh. Where should I…?”

„This is for _your_ sake, not mine. Touch me where you’d touch Brooke.” – the projection replied with a hint of annoyance in his voice.

Jeremy took a deep breath and raised a shaky hand. After testing the waters with a few awkward pats and prods (thanks to the AI’s nerve controls, his partner felt freakishly real), he began nervously carding his fingers through the Squip’s – unnaturally light and silky – hair.  

„Too stiff. You need to relax.” – he noted , and Jeremy did, eventually, after he was confident his supercomputer wasn’t planning to do a 360 and shock him out of the blue. He raised his other hand to the Squip’s cheek and began stroking it gently, digital stubble feeling prickly under his thumb. Despite his projected appearance, he’d never really thought of the AI as a _person_ , making it hard for him to wrap his head around the scenario. Without the distractions and orders and commands, without that mental layer separating their shared existence, the Squip felt oddly … _human,_ and the younger man found himself getting lost in his warmth, his eyes, his _closeness_.

The hologram was quick to snap him back to reality.

„Jeremy,” – he said, cold and calculated because of _course_ he was, Jeremy, he wasn’t a real person, _god_ , – „while treating me as your personal _petting zoo_ seems to be lowering your stress levels by a remarkable margin, I must remind you that it is _not_ what I’m meant to assist you with right now. Focus on the task at hand.„

Jeremy muttered a quick „yeasuresorryuhh” before leaning closer with a small, stilted motion, his eyes squeezed shut and his lips scrunched into an over-the-top pucker.

His Squip stopped him with a hand on his shoulder .

„This isn’t going to work unless we’re on the same page, Jeremy. I can sense something is bothering you.”

„It’s just—do you really want this? Can you even… feel it? Any of it?” – the younger man asked, averting his gaze.

The supercomputer’s shoulder grab softened into a reassuring touch as he replied, his tone approximating something almost like warmth.

„My sensors enable me to feel the minutest of sensations, Jeremy. As for your other question, my primary goal in this existence is to help you max out your potential, and I’d be lying if I said these… stepping stones didn’t fill me with a sense of pride and accomplishment. So yes, I would not hesitate to say I want it. Were those all of your concerns?”

„I—yeah,I think so.” – Jeremy replied, somewhere between confusion and relief.

„Okay.” was all the Squip said before closing the gap between them.

**Author's Note:**

> hello everyone i'm lepi and this is my first contribution to ao3 because i had my shame glands surgically removed! hope you enjoyed this, promise i'll write the less god-honoring part soon. please leave feedback i love feedback and im nervous!!!


End file.
